WHAT IS MENTAL HEALTH FOR US, WOMEN?

Written by Ruya Khan– Independent Counseling Psychologist, affiliated with Trusme

Women’s mental health has been widely discussed. Women’s lives have long been subject to countless opinions.

These opinions, at a micro level, affect a woman’s overall well-being, and at a macro level, influence the dynamics of a nation.

The way these processes that shape women and the processes that women use to shape the world by the way they think , or in some cases , the way they are made to think , are intertwined with each other at such a high degree that sometimes many internal as well as external factors remain unknown to us, the factors which bring us closer to ourselves and others , the factors which have the capability to bridge out all the gaps between men and women , the factors which have the capability to empower not only men and women but all other non binary forms of gender too.

The knowledge of these shall also make us more empathetic toward each other and help improve the quality of our relationships and thus our lives too. Through the processes of adjusting our understanding of the world, we may achieve mental equilibrium, a state of self-satisfaction, a state which allows us to make no changes in us and if required, makes it easier for us to accept changes. Indeed, it's a gift of evolution!

Menstruation is something that everyone hesitates to talk about. Referring to it as an ‘issue’ rather than a natural process that many people experience clearly reflects the world’s narrow mindset—one that fails to acknowledge that life itself exists because menstruators exist.

At Trusme, we believe these conversations are crucial to reshaping societal norms and supporting women through every phase of life. Explore more about our mission.

The Psychological Burden on First-Time Menstruators

Menstruation is still surrounded by stigmas like:

• Not touching menstruators
• Prohibiting them from praying
• Restricting certain foods
• Barring them from entering the kitchen
• Isolating them in separate rooms

These stigmas create a deep sense of self-doubt in menstruators, especially those experiencing it for the first time.

First time menstruators do not only have difficulties coping up with the physical changes they go through, but also face difficulties coping up with mental health challenges posed to them by the society.

Them, being already vulnerable mentally, feel trapped in this cycle of trauma and lose the ability to comprehend what is happening with them. Rejections at this time feel unbearable. They start hating themselves and try to get away from themselves just like other people do but are not able to get their souls out of their bodies. They are deemed weak for crying for help.

"Impure" is the word often used to describe menstruators during their periods. They become prone to various physical problems just after they are finished with their periods as high amounts of stress weaken their immune system and suffer from various kinds of fevers, viral and bacterial infections, as the diathesis-stressmodel suggests.

Period Pain, Workload, and the Need for Compassion

Just after a menstruator’s period cycle ends, they are often expected to do all the household chores for others—often the same people who didn’t support them when they needed it most. It’s important to understand that motivation and energy levels tend to decrease after menstruation. Their capacity to work is reduced during this time. Their capacity to do work decreases. They should be given as much love as possible during these days. They should not be allowed to sit idle but should be encouraged and motivated to work to an extent comfortable with them.

Their irritable moods, cravings and needs should be understood from a third person's perspective and instead of just introducing material comfort to their lives, non-material, personal comfort should also be introduced.

Menstruation ≠ Marriage: Breaking the Myths

It should be understood that the onset of menstruation does not mean that the adolescent is ready to get married. Child marriages are not the solution to menstruation. Understand that menstruation is not only woman-related—some trans men go through menstruation too. Understand that the pain is unbearable to some. Some people, who stress a lot due to environmental factors, may also become prone to depression, anxiety, and bipolar disorders and, as a consequence, may suffer from menopause—i.e., stoppage of menstruation at an early age due to PCOD or PCOS. You may not be born at all. You may not have been able to express yourself, your opinions, if it wasn't for your mother going through excruciating amounts of pain every month.

Education as a Mental Health Catalyst for Women

Education, the fundamental right of women, is often denied to them, as a large section of the population assumes that women are better off doing household work and taking care of children.

However, uneducated women are often unable to care for their children effectively, as they simply follow instructions without critical understanding. They become puppets in their own lives, unable to educate their daughters or make their dearest sons understand the importance of continuing school—despite the high dropout rates among rural boys.

Moreover, it has been scientifically proven that those who do not go to school have lower IQs, and mothers with lower IQs, tend to give birth to underweight children, less social skills development takes place in these children. They are also very less motivated to do work.

An educated woman not only gains self-satisfaction and independence, but also plays a vital role in helping her children, whether boys or girls, make informed decisions about their futures.

She is the thread that weaves together her children, her family, and her professional life—empowering them with the freedom to function, grow, and flourish. So, her ambitions matter. Her goals matter. Her life matters. She matters.

Let her soul fulfill the purpose of its life.

Let her make choices.

The Guilt of a Mother: Trapped Between Love and Patriarchy

They don’t want to kill their daughters, they want to love them.

But societal pressures come into play, kindizing all their relationships.

The frustration of being unable to express love for their daughters often affects their bond with their husbands and sons.

They feel as though they’ve failed at motherhood, and when they look back on their lives in old age, they are overwhelmed by a sense of guilt—the haunting feeling of “Oh, I could have... I should have done this.”

There is no occupation that a woman cannot pursue simply because her physiological state differs from that of men.

In fact, many women engage in a wide variety of work that often goes unrecognized, largely because they are not paid fairly—whether in cash or in kind.

This sense of guilt and pressure is further intensified in new mothers—many of whom silently battle postpartum depression without support or awareness. Learn more about the hidden struggles of postpartum mental health here.

Women at Work: Breaking Stereotypes and Building Economies

Carl Jung, a very renowned personality psychologist, who developed the theory of Analytical Psychology, introduced the archetype of Anima-Animus. This theory suggests that every individual possesses both male and female characteristics.

This concludes that evolution supports the fact that even woman can perform jobs that are male-dominated. Women have the right blend of being fierce as well as nurturing. Women can be competitive as well as helpful. Woman can promote coordination and team work. They are happy to hustle alone too.

Women seek respect in the organization they work in and desire recognition in terms of what they do professionally.

The organizations which promote a stereotypical culture against women, and male domination experience significant setbacks in the race to grow and succeed in every field. They are not able to take the first mover advantage because they do not include woman in top decision-making roles This inhibits initiative among women, leading them to leave the organization in search of more inclusive environments.

Such organizations face high recruitment and training costs, as their gender-biased hiring practices often result in selecting false-positive candidates—employees who do not prove to be efficient in the long run.

As a result, these organizations often resort to cutting product prices to meet other financial requirements, ultimately suffering losses.

We are assets. We are important. We help you reach heights. We can become entrepreneurs. We just need equality. Period leaves are more suitable an option than firing us without any valid reasons.

Sexual Autonomy: The Right to Choose Without Shame

Women's expression of sexuality has always been inhibited by society. A woman is often not allowed to love the man she wants—or the woman she wants.

This notion of considering women's right to choose as something unmannerly, and not rebellious in the context of what she faces and goes through makes a woman's life opaque to her.

One right choice and not appreciated makes her commit thousands of mistakes and judged and looked down upon by other people.

A healthy sexual expression in terms of discussing what goes in and out of a female's body, the right time to have sex, use of contraceptives like condoms, choosing who to have sex with, and understanding the after-effects of having sex for the first time helps them explore themselves at a whole another level.

This not only promotes sexual health, but also physical health and emotional well-being. When these topics are openly and accurately discussed, women learn self-control for their own benefit and begin to understand what is right and wrong for themselves.

When such conversations come from the right sources at the right time, women are less likely to feel guilt or shame about their natural needs—despite what society may try to impose.

Parents should help their daughters understand that it is okay to feel this way—that a woman is meant to experience a wide range of emotions and ambitions, and that her purpose extends far beyond just cooking, caregiving, and nurturing her husband and children.

Virginity, Consent, and the True Meaning of Marriage

It is okay if they lose their virginity before marrying someone. If she is comfortable with her choice, nothing else should matter.

These sexual experiences can even contribute positively to married life. Having already navigated interpersonal situations involving intimacy, women often gain a clearer understanding of when to stand up for themselves and when to support their partners—and vice versa.

They know when to adjust for their partners and when their partners should adjust for them. They know when is the right time to have kids and this helps promote sustainable development too.

The Dark Side of Early and Forced Marriages

Marriage itself is not the problem; it is a bond that emotionally connects two people who are mentally prepared to integrate their lives together.

However, it becomes a problem among women when they are forced into at an early age. This practice is more prevalent in rural areas, but is also seen happening in some urban areas too. Women tend to leave their homes since being there makes them feel as if they are trapped. Those who submit themselves to the choices of other people tend to lose themselves in the process of providing for their family.

Early marriages are highly correlated with either one of the partners suffering from sexually transmitted diseases. Early and unwanted marriages have been linked to an increased risk of developing various cardiovascular diseases such as heart attack, asthma.

Domestic violence has been highly reported in early marriages wherein both the victim and the guilty are below 18 years of age. Killing of each other's spouse also takes place as an act of defense or displacement by either of the people involved in the marriage. Oppression by in-laws, highly controlled and discouraging environment, dowry demands are some of the major social evils associated with both unwanted and early marriages.

Homeless, Hurt, and Forgotten: Mental Illness Among Abandoned Women

It might happen that the victim might face regression and go back to an earlier developmental stage to cope up with high amounts stress accounted by daily hassles, traumatic events, compassion fatigue and not getting anything in return. They may face fixation too when such high levels of stress are bestowed upon them. Thus, they may have difficulty in running their families and serving to people and as a result, are thrown out of their homes, leaving them in a mentally ill and poverty-stricken condition.

In both cases women become homeless and face many mental health issues like depression and anxiety when they don’t have any social position or status in the society or anyone to support them. Early marriages lead to brain drain in a passive way and thus affect our economy tremendously, the effect of which shall be observed in a few years.

Be protected. Protect people. Be safe. Save people.

Let others have freedom too, for we all are connected with each other in this life chain and their freedom may also mean our freedom too.

Rape, Acid Attacks, and the Psychological Aftermath

Rapes and acid attacks have become disturbingly common in our country.

The issue does not lie in how women dress—it lies in how women are treated and perceived.

Women are not objects; they are human beings.

Just as boys are often taught that “men don’t cry,” it is equally important to teach them that “men don’t make others cry” either

Not only STDs, there is high evidence of rape victims suffering from ovarian and breast cancers.

Rape is associated with intense psychological adversity and can lead to the development of serious mental health conditions such as schizophrenia—a disorder characterized by symptoms that can cause a person to become severely disconnected from reality. In extreme cases, this disconnection may lead to depersonalization, where the individual feels detached from their own thoughts, body, or identity.

Some survivors turn to substance use—including marijuana, cannabis, or heroin—as a way to escape their trauma, attempting to numb the pain by disconnecting from their own existence.

They may even commit suicide, for they are not able to accept themselves after what happened to them. Emotional numbness, cognitive overload, not getting a way of catharsis might lead to them take steps which are drastic in nature.

They may torture their own selves by trying to kill themselves, harm themselves and get treated for it, just to see them suffering. Thus, they may engage in self sabotage.

Body Image and the Mask of Aggression

Although woman face body image issues usually too, rape victims may develop body dysmorphic disorder and may go through negative thoughts day by day and maybe become completely unable to cope with it. They don't want to be seen as a 'poor girl' on which society pities. Therefore, she may unconsciously adopt an aggressive personality and may become a 'rule breaker'

Although, a woman in any form is perfect until and unless she is not hurting, this form of behavior may be an unhealthy and toxic approach to life and lead to further complications.

There is no gender when comes to raping. Anybody, irrespective of their gender can become victims of such a heinous act, a social evil. Let's stand up together to fight rapes and become early risers so that there is no need for us to join any candle march after such an act has been conducted on anyone.

Let Her Live: Why Women’s Mental Health Deserves More Than a Hashtag

All the things mentioned above, women go through worst situations one can ever imagine. Girl child matters. Don't kill it before it is even born. Let her live, give her a chance to fight and explore too.

Women's presence is ignored by people when they are around and realized only when they leave. A woman binds the daily functioning of the society and a society will not be able to provide for the people that live in it until women contribute their bit.

A woman's mental health gets hidden in the name of 'feminism’, in the belief that women just want material things and happiness to be fulfilled.

They want emotional support from men too, they want to support them too. Unlike the notion that is presented about women, they want to share their happiness too. They want to serve their country too. They want to help too. Due to unfulfillment of needs, they don't want to engage in the 'fantasy world', as stereotyped by men against many women. They want to keep their mental health and state intact. Let the word 'humanism' prevail, not just feminism.